I stepped off the elevator at JC's condo on Monday night, to find this... watching the elevator door....
What the actual f*ck.
Creepy f*cking clown doll. When the elevator doors open, this thing is actually lined up to make eye contact with the person on the elevator.
JC has recently acquired new neighbors in the units on either side of his. I'm not sure which neighbor this belongs to, but she keeps putting out awful stuff on the windowsills, apparently under the mistaken belief that this common area is free range for her decorating leftovers.
I shudder to imagine what the inside of the actual condo looks like. If I had to guess, I would say it involves a LOT of Precious Moments figurines, and probably a hundred more dolls like this one, on wall-mounted shelves around the bed, watching their human owner sleep.
Since this photo was taken, she has put out more awful sh*t. JC got caught up in the excitement of this, and I found him yesterday, heading out the door with my toy accordion (this is another story for another day), to put with the as-yet-unoccupied windowsill. I made him bring it back. I pointed out that we did not want to be awakened by someone testing the accordion at 6am, to see if it works. (Pothead Neighbor Across the Hall, I am looking at you).
I am planning a series of fun little signs for this doll to hold:
"I'll Be Watching You"
"We all float down here"
"All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy"
Of course, I am always open to suggestions.
Otherwise, I am not going to rock the boat on the toy collection. I figure at some point, the issue of my practicing flamenco footwork for 30-minute stretches is going to come up. Or my singing for 30-minute stretches. I like to choose my battles.